Vlasic is making chips made from actual pickles and we can’t even

In the world of food, there are few things more polarizing than pickles. For people who love the food, they can be a fun treat that’s prepared in a number of ways. For the folks who don’t like them, the taste seems to linger on just about anything. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that a few of you pickle-haters have returned a fast food cheeseburger because it had been tainted with the taste of pickle. No matter where you stand, though, it’s undeniable that one of the biggest names the pickle industry is Vlasic – and they’re bringing something special to store shelves very, very soon… and they’re sure to have us choosing sides again.

Polarizing pickles. (Source: Andrew Malone/Flickr)

As someone who’s never had a particularly close relationship with pickles, I can tell you that this latest news will appall those of us who aren’t so hot on the green treat. Vlasic, in their probably-not-actually-real underground weapons development lab, is working on what they call “Original Dill Pickle Chips.” That seems harmless, right? It’s just another take on pickle-flavored chips.

We’ve seen it before.

Everything’s going to be OK.

But no.

No – these are chips made from literal pickles. 

Thanks, I hate it. (Source: Vlasic/Conagra)

If you’re in the camp who’s excited by this news, then listen up: you’ve got almost 5 ounces of vacuum-fried, briny cucumber coming at you. A spokesperson for Conagra (who owns Vlasic) said the item is “still in development” and that there’s no release date; I kind of hope that it never comes.

In seriousness – if you’re looking forward to this, keep an eye out on social media and the like!